I Am DB

June 21, 2013

The Great Gandolfini

Filed under: TV — DB @ 9:00 am
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My heart plunged Wednesday afternoon when I read that James Gandolfini had died. I can barely comprehend that he’s left us this soon. The details of his death are as sad as the loss itself. We invest an awful lot of time and energy into the TV shows and movies we love, and when the performers pass away, the feeling of loss can be as genuine as for those we knew in person. I have relatives who have died who were less familiar to me than James Gandolfini. The Sopranos is probably my favorite TV show of all time, and Gandolfini was without a doubt one of my favorite actors.

When the show burst onto the scene in 1999, immediately launching Gandolfini into a new stratosphere of national recognition, I took pride in being one of the people who knew him when. His work in films such as True Romance, Get Shorty and A Civil Action had already endeared him to me. And like many—though relatively few in the scheme of how many millions came to know him after The Sopranos hit—I didn’t just know him as “that guy.” He was an actor who had earned name recognition, and his involvement in The Sopranos was one of the first things that caught my interest when the commercials began running on HBO.

I remember in the show’s early days, when it was saturating the pop culture conversation, a friend of mine who hadn’t seen it but knew me to be a committed fan asked me what the big deal was. I asked her to name a movie that she loved. Not one that was simply fun or entertaining, but one that was so compelling, so well acted and so well written that it blew her away. When she answered, I said, “Now imagine seeing that movie for the first time, every week. That’s The Sopranos.” And while it took an uncompromising creator in David Chase, an amazing staff of writers and a brilliant ensemble of actors to make it all hum, in the end it boiled down to Gandolfini and his portrayal of Tony Soprano. Many will say it was the role that defined him, but Gandolfini was too good to be defined by any one part. He succeeded in other roles during and after The Sopranos because he had too much depth and charisma to be pigeonholed by the role that made him famous. It will surely be the one for which he is best remembered, but no conversation about his work will ever start and stop there. His presence elevated anything he was in. He could make an otherwise forgettable movie like The Mexican worth seeing. He could make an already good movie better, most recently demonstrated by his three or four brief scenes in Zero Dark Thirty. Without even appearing on camera, he could convey ferocity, anguish and loneliness enough to break your heart, as he did voicing the lead creature in Where the Wild Things Are.

It was exciting when great directors like the Coen Brothers or Spike Jonze enlisted his talents, and it was disappointing when planned projects didn’t come to pass. (He filmed a role for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close that was cut, and he also came close to starring opposite Leonardo DiCaprio as the dogged FBI agent in Catch Me If You Can when that film was going to be directed by Lasse Hallstrom. By the time Steven Spielberg came on board to direct, production had been delayed and Gandolfini was no longer available. The part went to Tom Hanks). I always looked forward to more collaborations between Gandolfini and other top actors and directors. A few years ago, he earned a Tony nomination for the play God of Carnage, in which he starred with Marcia Gay Harden, Jeff Daniels and Hope Davis. Just the other day, I watched a commercial for the new season of Daniels’ HBO series The Newsroom and saw that both Harden and Davis were guest starring. I hoped maybe they would try to get Gandolfini to come on at some point and round out the reunion. He was supposed to return to HBO on a limited series called Criminal Justice, for which he’d already filmed a pilot, and in a movie with Steve Carell about rival paleontologists in the 19th century, called Bone Wars. I looked forward to those too. Clearly, I was looking forward to a lot more from Gandolfini. We all were. There are a couple of posthumous offerings that will serve as final showcases for his talents. He had completed shooting two movies that will likely be released next year: one called Animal Rescue, written by Dennis Lehane and starring Tom Hardy and Noomi Rapace, and one called Enough Said, written and directed by Nicole Holofcener and starring Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Catherine Keener.

And that will be all. I occasionally wonder what John Lennon would be doing today, or what Phil Hartman would be up to. What would Heath Ledger’s latest project be? There might be others about whom you ask the same questions. I will be asking it about Gandolfini for years to come.

As the tributes, statements and appreciations from friends, colleagues and admirers poured in, many pointed out that Gandolfini was not just a great actor, but a great friend. A great person. It’s easy to believe. Every time I saw him accept an award on TV—he earned three Emmys, a Golden Globe and five SAG awards (three for individual achievement, two as part of an ensemble)—he seemed truly humbled and almost embarrassed by the attention. The same was true when he appeared on Inside the Actor’s Studio. He was generous with his thoughts on process and the work, but reticent to be in the spotlight. At all times, he was quick to praise his co-stars, his writers and his acting teachers. Two remembrances I read—one from Tim Goodman of The Hollywood Reporter and one from Matt Zoller Seitz of Vulture—brought up a Television Critics Association event in the summer of 1999 where Gandolfini was honored with an award, and how uncomfortable he was when the press started to swarm; how he couldn’t wait to get out of there. As Seitz mentions near the beginning of his piece, Gandolfini didn’t understand why people were interested in what he had to say. Well, we were interested because our culture is always interested in what celebrities have to say. At least someone like Gandolfini was worth listening to. Once he realized that, he tried to use his voice to bring attention to things that mattered to him. He was an advocate for U.S. soldiers who returned from war with severe injuries and post-traumatic stress disorder. In addition to private work he did with these men and women, he actively produced two documentaries for HBO to raise attention to their experiences. By all accounts, this was a guy whose heart was as big as his talent. How tragic that it gave out on him.

Some of the writers who have eulogized Gandolfini online since his death Wednesday—including Entertainment Weekly‘s Mark Harris and Yahoo’s Richard Rushfield—talked about his refusal to apologize for Tony Soprano’s dark deeds, pointing out that he never sentimentalized the character, tried to soften him or ask for the audience’s sympathies. One of my favorite scenes in the show’s history—one that has always stayed with me among the series’ countless examples of excellence—exemplifies this. It’s the final scene of an overall fantastic episode titled “Cold Cuts,” from the remarkable fifth season. In the episode, Tony’s sister Janice is arrested at her stepdaughter’s soccer game for attacking another mother after an incident between the two girls. Much to his agitation, Tony’s name gets dragged into the local news coverage. He impresses upon Janice that such outbursts are bad for business and that she needs to control herself. She attempts to do so by taking anger management classes. Tony, meanwhile, can barely contain his own rage as frustrations on both his home and business fronts continue to mount. He sees Janice benefitting from her classes, and even though this is exactly what he wants, he resents her newfound ability to keep her cool. In the end, this is what happens.

When she explodes, he’s the happiest and most satisfied he’s been during the whole episode. That smirk he gives just before walking out of the dining room speaks volumes. The scene shows the kind of cruelty Tony is capable of even to the people he loves, and there are others like it throughout the series. As he walks away, with the aggressive strains of The Kinks’ “I’m Not Like Everybody Else” perfectly used on the soundtrack, we have to admit to ourselves—as we have many times before—that this character we love (or if not love, exactly, then feel for) is an unrepentant sociopath. And why did we feel so much for Tony? Because Gandolfini gave us no choice. You’ll notice in that clip that the closing credits begin to appear before the screen has gone to black, which is atypical for an episode of The Sopranos. It’s almost as if the director just couldn’t move on quite yet. Even with his back to us, walking away after that instance of emotional violence, James Gandolfini compelled us to watch him. And we watched in wonder.

I’m so sad he’s gone.

June 16, 2013

And Now My Watch Has Ended, And Now My Withdrawal Begins

Filed under: TV — DB @ 9:45 pm
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This post is intended for those who are up-to-date on Game of Thrones. If you have yet to start watching the series or are not caught up, fly from here like a raven, fast as you can.

I’m not a doctor, but I might be able to diagnose that emptiness you’re feeling. It’s the absence of Game of Thrones from this weekend’s HBO schedule. In what seems the blink of an eye, another season of the best show currently on TV has come and gone. Maybe that’s not a fair thing to say, since I don’t watch every show on TV…and we are clearly living through a fantastic period for dramatic television. But at the moment, what’s better? Breaking Bad, maybe. Perhaps Mad Men. Beyond that, I doubt anything else can compete, because I’m not aware of anything else that breaks the rules and takes the dramatic chances that this show does. It’s the most ambitious production on television, yet the narrative remains nimble even under the weight of the show’s scale, with an ability to surprise that is second to none. In fact, as I see ads in magazines and online touting the return of shows like Falling Skies and True Blood, I feel a little sad for them. Cause it must kinda suck to be any show other than Game of Thrones right now and know that no matter what you do, it just won’t be as good.

Game of Thrones‘ latest run consisted of ten terrific hours of television, but it was about ten minutes during the ninth hour that defined the season. Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have been talking about this scene since season one, referring to it only by its initials, RW. The event looms so large in the Song of Ice and Fire universe that HBO.com, in addition to providing their usual weekly Inside the Episode featurette, created a special behind the scenes piece dedicated specifically to the Red Wedding.

In the episode’s aftermath, Game of Thrones was all over the web, as fans expressed their shock and sadness. It was a predictably hot topic on Twitter; io9 compiled their 100 favorite tweets about what went down. Other outlets collected online reactions as well. Many fans took to Facebook to share their devastation. My contribution:

When I logged back in the next day—after a notably poor night of sleep—the top several posts in my feed were about what had unspooled the previous evening. Many people who had read the books and knew what was coming had the foresight to film the reactions of their unsuspecting friends, resulting in a lot of hilarious and relatable YouTube posts, some of which were compiled here.

EW.com was at the ready, posting interviews with the key players involved, starting with George R.R. Martin on why he wrote such an unexpected plot twist in the first place. A few days after the episode aired, Martin was a guest on Conan, and I loved how he talked about meeting certain cast members at the premiere party for the third season, knowing that eventually their counterparts would be killed.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves by worrying which of our favorite characters will be offered up to the Red God next. We’re still in mourning, both for the recently departed characters and for another completed season that leaves us wanting until April 2014 rolls around. Even though I knew heading into this season that a large-scale tragedy was in store, and went into the fateful episode having deduced what was likely to happen, watching it unfold was no less upsetting or stunning. Sure, I wish I had gone into it totally unprepared, but still my reaction looked pretty much like the ones in that video above. It was heartbreaking, but also exhilarating. Not because it was violent, but because it was so against the rules of what we’ve been conditioned to expect from stories of good and evil, heroes and villains, right and wrong. Martin talks in those interviews about wanting to keep his audience in suspense, and with this event, he’s doubled down on that commitment. And that’s exciting. The boldness of the Red Wedding is something to be admired. Like many of the show’s diehard fans, I’m amused by the people who say they’re walking away from it permanently because of what happened, as if they’ve been personally betrayed. Maybe some of them really will, but if anything, the attention that Thrones garnered online as a result of the Red Wedding is likely to bring new viewers to the show. People said they were giving up on it after Ned Stark was beheaded (hell, some said they were giving up on it after the second episode concluded with Ned reluctantly killing Sansa’s direwolf, Lady). But the ratings have shown that Thrones is thriving, and the audience keeps growing. The show’s increasing popularity can be partly attributed to the kind of narrative boldness encapsulated by the Red Wedding. It’s thrilling storytelling, pure and simple. I both hate and love that it happened.

On a purely emotional level, I’m infuriated by the indignity of Joffrey continuing to draw breath while House Stark has just been decimated. (Yeah, the younger kids are still alive, but how long before any of them are able to take the reins in any meaningful way?) And Arya…God, poor Arya. SO close. Wallowing in my post-episode funk, my dream was for Arya to turn in her Braavosi coin (“Valar morghulis”), find Jaqen H’ghar and paraphrase Luke Skywalker: “I want to come with you to Braavos. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Faceless Men and become a badass assassin like you.” Then she disappears. She’s totally off the show for a season or two. Then she comes back, older, steeled, and just finds them one by one and brings the fucking pain. Joffrey, Cersei, Tywin, Walder Frey, Roose Bolton (if they’re still alive), even those deserting Karstark fuckers. If they hadn’t ditched, Robb never would have had to approach Walder Frey in the first place. (Based on what happened in the final episode, some version of this Arya fantasy may be just what happens.)

Of course, it’s pointless to play “what if” games. A reckoning with Walder Frey was inevitable, and in hindsight, the groundwork for the Red Wedding was being laid long before the knives were drawn and crossbows loaded. Before Robb beheaded him, Rickard Karstark told him that he’d lost the war the moment he married Talisa. And at Sansa and Tyrion’s wedding, Cersei recounted to Margaery the story behind the song “The Rains of Castamere,” foreshadowing the performance of the song that so unnerved Catelyn in Walder Frey’s hall. Observant fans recognized the song from season two’s battle episode Blackwater, when it was sung by Bronn and the Lannister soldiers, and then played again over the end credits (performed by The National). The most blatant (and chilling) foreshadowing of the Red Wedding never made it to the screen. As my friend Ryan reminded me earlier this week, it came in the second book, when Daenerys visits the House of the Undying to retrieve her dragons. On the show, Dany’s wanderings in the strange tower of the warlocks revealed the ruined throne room in the Red Keep, and a tent where Khal Drogo and her son await her. In the book, Dany’s experience in the House of the Undying is more elaborate, and includes this haunting image:

Farther on she came upon a feast of corpses. Savagely slaughtered, the feasters lay strewn across overturned chairs and hacked trestle tables, asprawl in pools of congealing blood. Some had lost limbs, even heads. Savaged limbs clutched bloody cups, wooden spoons, roast fowl, heels of bread. On a throne above them sat a dead man with the head of a wolf. He wore an iron crown and held a leg of lamb in one hand as a king might hold a sceptre, and his eyes followed Dany with mute appeal. (A Clash of Kings, Page 700)
A dead man with the head of a wolf. And indeed, the sting of the Red Wedding lingered as the final hour of the season began with the continuing slaughter of the Stark army and Arya bearing witness to Robb’s body being paraded around with Grey Wolf’s decapitated head in place of his own. Oh, and for what it’s worth, Dany’s trip through the House of the Undying in Martin’s original text includes other intriguing visions, suggesting battles, betrayals and other happenings that have not yet come to pass…and one that has, it seems:
Ten thousand slaves lifted bloodstained hands as she raced by on her silver, riding like the wind. “Mother!” they cried. “Mother, mother!” They were touching her, tugging at her cloak, the hem of her skirt, her foot her leg, her breast. They wanted her, needed her, the fire, the life, and Dany gasped and opened her arms to give herself to them… (A Clash of Kings, Page 707)

Did we not see a version of that in the final moment of the season?

While we’re talking about the books, it’s nice to know that readers who have been anticipating the Red Wedding ever since reading about it as far back as 13 years ago seem to be satisfied with how it was depicted on film. Vulture assembled a panel of Westerosi experts—a.k.a. the webmasters from four Ice and Fire fan sites—to discuss the sequence (beware of book spoilers – there are some differences in what happened), and the consensus seems to be that while the book more successfully captured the building sense of dread (something a friend also told me), the show’s depiction was not a disappointment to the readership that had so long been anticipating it. They even conceded that the scene held some shock value for readers too, given the changes made to the story around Robb’s wife. (Talisa is a creation of the show; in the books, Robb’s wife is another woman altogether, and she is not present at Edmure’s wedding.) Her particularly brutal and cruel death gave readers a jolt during an otherwise familiar event. Without having read book three or beyond, but knowing a little about who Robb’s wife is on the page, my guess is that changing her to the new character of Talisa was a way for Benioff and Weiss to streamline a story thread that would have taken on additional complications had they left it alone. With so many characters and stories to juggle, the need to abridge for the TV show is understandable. Had the show followed the books more closely regarding Robb’s wife, the character and story would probably have endured for a few seasons to come, at least. Now the showrunners can lay the Red Wedding to rest and move on more efficiently. But again, I’m just speculating.

As I said at the start, the Red Wedding may be the defining event of season three, but let’s not forget everything that preceded it. The shocking fall of the House of Stark should not render Jaime’s behanding or the Night’s Watch revolt at Craster’s—resulting in Lord Commander Mormont’s death—any less significant. How about the cowardly Samwell Tarly stepping up to successfully protect Gilly (so far) and do the seemingly impossible: take down a friggin’ White Walker!! There was Jon and the wildlings’ harrowing climb up the Wall.  Tyrion and Bronn learning that Tyrion’s squire Podrick is apparently the most impressive lover in King’s Landing, perhaps even the whole of the kingdoms. And of course, the ass-kicking finale of the fourth episode, in which Dany unleashed her mad tactical skills on the chump slavers of Astapor, was one of the series’ most brilliantly executed sequences to date. Some of the season’s highlights came in quieter scenes as well, most notably Jaime’s monologue to Brienne about the day he killed the Mad King Aerys. It was backstory I’d been craving from day one, without ever knowing if it would come.

The show had a lot of weight to carry this season, with dozens of characters and many splintered storylines. Moments of extremity like the Red Wedding would be meaningless if the show failed to engage us with the more mundane goings on. Game of Thrones consistently offers scenes of simple character interactions that are as charged, powerful and memorable as any action scene or unexpected plot twist. Think of Varys recounting the story of his castration to Tyrion, culminating with the reveal that the man who cut him is trapped in a crate in Varys’ chambers; Joffrey gleefully showing Margaery around the Sept of Baelor, telling stories of torture and death, while she in turn learns how to manipulate him; Stannis visiting Davos in the dungeons, playing out the struggle between his ambition and his conscience; or almost any scene with Arya, who continues to demonstrate strength in the face of adults who repeatedly let her down one action at a time as the world kills her innocence.

Another example: the season was bookended by two thrilling, loaded exchanges between Tywin and Tyrion, with the Lannister patriarch making it painfully clear what little regard he has for the “ill-made, spiteful little creature” he is forced to call his son. Like Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion, Charles Dance’s Tywin has become one of those characters who rocks it every time he appears onscreen. I can’t get enough of him. Ditto to new addition Diana Rigg as Lady Olenna Tyrell, who also anchored some of the season’s best dialogue-driven scenes, whether sizing up Sansa, trading barbs with Varys or bartering with Tywin. I hope there’s more of her next season. Other new characters to whom I took a shine were Thoros of Myr, the Brotherhood Without Banners’ kindly priest; badass wildling Tormund Giantsbane; and Jojen Reed, Bran’s eerily calm ally and guide in the mysterious art of warging. One of my few issues with the season was that Bran’s storyline was so scarcely visited. The Reed siblings showed up out of nowhere, and beyond learning that their father was fiercely loyal to Ned Stark, we didn’t learn much else about them. I suspect this bothers readers even more, since the Reed’s introduction into the show was delayed to begin with. They were initially introduced in the second novel, when they arrive at Winterfell to attend a feast and stay on afterwards, befriending Bran and sharing stories of Jojen’s prophetic visions in exchange for Bran talking about his own unusual dreams. I thought we could have spent a little less time on Theon this season, since his storyline is somewhat stagnant, in exchange for more time with Bran and company. (Interestingly, Theon’s post-Winterfell fate isn’t revealed until the fifth book, but Benioff and Weiss moved it into this season because they wanted to continue working with actor Alfie Allen, who did such great work during season two. I think it was the right decision to keep his story going, but since it’s kind of stuck in one place for the foreseeable future—both in terms of location and momentum—I would have preferred some of that time been devoted to Bran’s path. (Based on where things are after the season finale, I’d guess that both stories will be a big part of season four.)

And what does the next season hold in store? It will continue the adaptation of book three, A Storm of Swords (while likely drawing from other books as well, as it did with Theon), so I’m curious if we’ll have the usual influx of fresh characters that a new season of any show typically brings. Not that Thrones doesn’t have a full slate of characters to serve. Even with the departures of Robb, Catelyn, Talisa and Mormont, as well as supporting characters Craster, Orell the wildling and Ros—whose spying on Littlefinger for Varys earned her an unfortunate end at the hands of Joffrey and his crossbow (too bad — she was a great character, worthy of further development)—the show is still dealing with a huge number of people to serve. Considering that, I think the writers do a stellar job of moving between stories and serving the full roster. Some, like Bran and his entourage, may get the short end of the stick from one season to the next, but given the challenges of this adaptation, Benioff, Weiss and their writing team are performing admirably. It was nice to see expanded roles for Roose Bolton (even if he revealed himself to be a treacherous asshole) and Gendry, and I hope their parts will continue to grow in the season to come (I’d hate to think we’re done with Gendry now that he has escaped from Dragonstone). I also have to say that I was thrilled by the return of Ser Barristan Selmy, one of my favorite supporting characters from the first season.

So where will season four take us? For those interested in teases and possible directions, articles from Vulture and The Atlantic Wire offer some speculation (I haven’t read them, hoping to avoid spoilers). One thing I did hear is that we may soon be paying our first visit to Dorne, one of the southernmost regions in Westeros. The non-readers among us may recall that Dorne is where Tyrion sent Princess Myrcella last season, brokering a marriage with that kingdom’s prince and, in the process, incurring Cersei’s wrath for sending away her daughter.

This season’s end leaves me with plenty of questions. Will Arya indeed reconnect with Jaqen H’ghar for Stealthy Assassinations 101? Will Jon recover from the three arrow hits he took from Ygritte? Will we see more from the Brotherhood Without Banners? How will Littlefinger react to the death of his beloved Catelyn? Will Joffrey’s marriage to Margaery reveal the perversions or sexual hang-ups that have been strongly hinted at but not yet made clear? Will Dany get it on with her chiseled new warrior, Dario Naharis? And how in the seven hells is she ever going to get to Westeros if she keeps liberating the slave populations of huge cities along the way? How will a newly humbled Jaime be welcomed back to King’s Landing? He only shared a brief moment with Cersei in the season finale, and it was tough to read her reaction to seeing his stump. Will Tywin think less of him now? What will happen to Brienne? And what of Cersei’s marriage to Loras Tyrell? In the finale, during an excellent scene with Tyrion, she said with curious certainty that she would not be marrying Loras. What does she have up her sleeve that makes her so sure? How will Tyrion’s marriage to Sansa progress, and where will Shae fit it? Will Stannis put his quest for the Iron Throne completely on hold to deal with the looming threat of the White Walkers? Will the concern over that danger extend as far south as King’s Landing? Could Tywin and Stannis have to temporarily unite in the face of it? What about Mance Rayder’s army of wildlings, the other force amassing north of the Wall? Will we find out what happens to Rickon and Osha after they split from Bran, or is Rickon’s story irrelevant? Will someone please, please, pretty please slap Joffrey across the face again? (I’d love to see Tywin do it, but he’s probably too buttoned-down, even if there’s no way he’d be punished for it. Then again, I’m not sure how much longer Joffrey will submit to Tywin’s authority before he tries to assert himself…and I am dying for a moment where the tension between those two runneth over.

Answers to these questions and more are ten months away. I wonder if, in the meantime, the attention earned this year will translate into awards and accolades. If the series ever has a shot at winning the Emmy for Best Drama Series, this year might be the one. Plenty of shows have had major watercooler moments before; that doesn’t guarantee an award. But the show has been good enough to win from day one; if the violence, sex and general “fantasy” factor isn’t a put-off to voters, the sheer audacity of the Red Wedding and the way it permeated the cultural conversation could push it over the top. I would hope for some writing and directing nominations, and there are certainly actors worthy of attention. With Emmy nominations for acting being based on single episodes rather than entire seasons, a show like Thrones—lacking a lead character and doling out its story in small pieces—can be at a disadvantage. Peter Dinklage did earn a win after the first season, and a nomination for the second. Can he make the cut again? Others are deserving too. Charles Dance would be a welcome addition, and Jaime’s arc this season—bolstered by his aforementioned confessional monologue—could put Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in the conversation (he was recently nominated for a Critics Choice Award by the Broadcast Television Journalist’s Association, and the show itself tied with Breaking Bad for the Best Drama Series win. It’s also been nominated by the Television Critics Association). Diana Rigg could be among the Emmy nominees for Best Guest Actress in a Drama, and Michelle Fairley is a possible Supporting Actress nominee on the strength of her devastating moments during the Red Wedding (Catelyn’s role was small this season overall, but she did have some meaty moments throughout, from her story about Jon Snow to the scene with her uncle Brynden when she mourns her father’s death and breaks down over the presumed death of Bran and Rickon). I’m not betting it will happen, but a nomination for Fairley would be a nice, earned surprise. When the Screen Actor’s Guild awards come around next winter, it would be nice to see a Best Ensemble nomination as well. The show inexplicably missed out on that recognition after season two, which was kinda preposterous. The talent pool on Thrones runs deep. Large roles and small, I can’t think of a weak link in the chain. An exceptional ensemble of actors that demands to be recognized.

Okay, winding down….I’ve gotten used to including some random “Fun with Game of Thrones” links and embeds in these pre and post season write-ups, so here are a few more. This site displays the work of an artist who makes small, polymer clay caricatures based on Thrones. Cool stuff. And then there’s this fake demo for an old school Game of Thrones video game, courtesy of College Humor. I love this.

Here are some menus from a Brooklyn pizzeria that is obviously run by some serious Thrones fans, resulting in such offerings as the Lanni-Stir-Fry and the Cheddard Stark. For any music fans out there who are as impressed with the show’s score as I am, here’s an interview from The Hollywood Reporter with the composer, Ramin Djawadi. And as a known devotee of the Harry Potter series, I enjoyed this picture of Sansa Stark and Neville Longbottom (a.k.a. Sophie Turner and Matthew Lewis) that was making the rounds on Twitter recently.

I also liked these post-Red Wedding selections from Someecards, the latest additions to their line of Thrones-themed cards.

And finally, here’s the song that played in the first trailer for this season of the show. As I mentioned in my pre-season piece, it’s called “Bones” and is performed by MS MR. It has a haunting quality that really does capture this season for me. Dark twisted fantasy indeed…

See you next year, Westeros.

June 6, 2013

It’s Still Good to Be the King

Filed under: Movies,TV — DB @ 4:00 pm
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Mel Brooks is having a moment. A few weeks ago, he was the subject of a profile on the esteemed PBS series (“esteemed PBS” – is that redundant?), American Masters. Tonight, Brooks will be honored by the American Film Institute with its 41st Life Achievement Award. It’s one of Hollywood’s great annual traditions, bringing out many of the collaborators who have worked with the honoree throughout his or her career. Unlike many similar awards given out by other bodies — the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the Screen Actor’s Guild — the AFI presentation is not made by just one or two people who are closely associated with the recipient. Rather, it’s an all-star tribute, with a slew of friends and colleagues taking the stage or rising from their table to address the evening’s celebrant.

On that count, as much as I’m looking forward to watching Brooks feted when the show airs on TNT next Saturday night, I’m also saddened to think how few of the people one might expect to salute him are still with us. At 86 years old, Brooks has outlived many of his most notable associates. Madeline Kahn, Dom DeLuise, Harvey Korman, Marty Feldman, Zero Mostel, Cleavon Little, Richard Pryor, John Candy, Slim Pickens, Gregory Hines, Charles Durning, Alex Karras, Peter Boyle, Kenneth Mars, Larry Gelbart, Don Adams, Leslie Nielsen, and of course his wife, Anne Bancroft. All gone.

There are a few others whose attendance, or even participation in pre-taped segments, is questionable given their general distance from the limelight these days. We don’t see much of Teri Garr, Rick Moranis, Sid Caesar or Gene Wilder anymore. I hope Wilder, at least, will make an appearance. How can you hold a tribute to Mel Brooks without Gene Wilder? And yet the actor only appeared in archival interviews on the American Masters special.

It’s not like the room will be devoid of celebrities. The award itself will be presented by past winner Martin Scorsese (an interesting choice given his lack of professional connection to Brooks). Carl Reiner is still kicking, and you can bet he’ll be on hand, while I would think Cloris Leachman will probably be there too. Plenty of younger actors who worked with Brooks in his later films like Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Dracula: Dead and Loving It may be in the room too. Hopefully Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick will be there representing Brooks’ Broadway triumph, The Producers. Maybe even Will Ferrell and Uma Thurman, who starred in the film adaptation of the musical? And then there are people that Brooks has worked with as a TV guest star, like perhaps Paul Reiser (Brooks won three consecutive Emmys for his recurring guest role on Mad About You) or Larry David (Brooks and Bancroft appeared as themselves in a classic season-long arc of Curb Your Enthusiasm). Could we be so lucky as to get an appearance by the wonderfully offbeat David Lynch, whose film The Elephant Man was produced by Brooks? Either way, there are plenty of notable stars, writers and directors from throughout Brooks’ career that are still around and could be in attendance; it’s just sad to think how many of them won’t be.

Often when it comes to these lifetime achievement awards, I think, “If this person doesn’t get it soon, they won’t be around anymore.” But rarely have I considered the need to honor someone before all of their closest or most frequent collaborators are gone (and Brooks is someone who worked with the same people over and over again, to legendary results, which will accentuate their absence). I don’t know how the AFI makes the decision each year about who to recognize with their Life Achievement Award. The list of recipients is impressive, but I’ve often questioned why people like Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Harrison Ford and Meryl Streep received the award at such relatively young ages, prior to obvious people who’d been around longer and were still waiting. Look down the list of winners, for example, and one glaring absence is Paul Newman. How could the AFI honor Hanks and Spielberg before getting around to Newman? I wonder if the person has to accept the honor and agree to participate in the celebration evening. If that’s the case, I can imagine Newman saying, “Hey, I’m honored, really, but that kind of event where I sit for three hours listening to people praise me makes me uncomfortable. Thanks but no thanks.” I have no idea, of course. It’s just that Newman seems like too obvious a candidate for the AFI to simply not have gotten around to before he passed away. (Still breaks my heart a little bit every time it crosses my mind that Paul Newman is dead.) And where are the AFI honors for Gene Hackman, Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton? For Peter O’Toole and Woody Allen? (Allen’s another guy I could see politely declining, if that’s the way these things work.)

Pardon that tangent; these are things I think about. Back to the man of the hour. Beyond those who he has worked with directly, Brooks has been an influence on many comedians who came after him, so the room will probably include some famous fans as well. Whether he’ll be there or not, one such fan is Jerry Seinfeld, who last year featured Brooks (and Reiner) in an episode of his excellent web series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

(Click Image for Video)

It’s great to see the AFI pay tribute to a guy like Mel Brooks, whose contributions to film are much sillier but no less significant than many others who have received the honor before him. Already in the rare company of EGOT recipients (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony), he adds the AFI award to his 2009 Kennedy Center Honor, his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and numerous other accolades he’s collected over the years. It seems unusual for a comedian — especially one as broad and naughty as Brooks — to be so celebrated; we tend to think of our most Serious Artists as the ones most decorated. But Brooks has earned his place, in part, by helping us all take Seriousness down a few pegs. He famously said, “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” I’ve always loved that quote. Another twist on the same theme is spoken by Alan Alda in Woody Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors (though I’m not sure if the quote originates with Allen): “Comedy equals tragedy plus time.” And has there ever been someone whose body of work epitomizes that statement more than Mel Brooks? He has practically made a career out of finding the comedy in the 20th century’s greatest purveyor of tragedy, Adolf Hitler. From The Producers‘ “Springtime for Hitler” to History of the World Part I‘s brief “Hitler on Ice” to the Nazi lampooning To Be or Not to Be, Brooks has delighted in taking one of the least funny things in history and making it into a punchline. Then there are the stereotypes he attacked head-on in Blazing Saddles, taking the risk of offending not just morals, but good taste. So it’s nice to see him recognized as a daring artist. He absolutely deserves the awards and attention he continues to collect.

I’m sure there will be plenty of people at the AFI event to share their appreciation of his life and work. While the program will of course feature memorable clips from throughout his career, here’s one I suspect may be overlooked, and which provided my first introduction to his comic genius: his cameo in The Muppet Movie, annoyingly spread here across two clips. (He enters around the 1:28 mark of the first.)

The AFI Life Achievement Award for Mel Brooks will air on TNT next Saturday, June 15, at 9:00 P.M., and again July 24 at 8:00 P.M. on Turner Classic Movies, where it will run alongside other films and specials highlighting Brooks’ work. His episode of American Masters continues to air over the next week.

Congratulations Mel, and may the Schwartz be with you.

May 17, 2013

Player Hader

Filed under: TV — DB @ 3:55 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Saturday Night Live‘s 38th season comes to an end tomorrow night, and with the close of another year comes the departure of a cast member who, for my money, has long been the show’s MVP: Bill Hader.

Hader has been on SNL for eight years, joining at the start of the 2005-2006 season at the same time as Andy Samberg. (Jesus, was that really eight years ago?) He quickly proved to be one of the show’s most versatile and reliable cast members, excelling at original characters and impressions, though just as capable of playing the straight man. Well…straight-ish, anyway. Last year, he became only the 18th cast member in the show’s history to earn an Emmy nomination for his individual performance. But one thing that also struck me about Hader during his time on the show was how quickly the outside comedy community caught onto his talent and started to utilize him. I haven’t researched this, but my sense is that most SNL cast members who break out beyond the show tend to do so after serving for a few years. But Hader was snatched up fairly soon after hitting the stage of Studio 8H, winning roles in some of the best comedy films of the latter aughts, including Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder and Superbad. Greg Mottola, who directed the latter, also used him in Adventureland and Paul, while the actor’s association with Judd Apatow continued beyond Knocked Up with roles in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Pineapple Express.

As it turns out, Hader may not be the only performer leaving SNL after tomorrow’s finale. Rumors abound that Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis will also bid farewell, and with Seth Meyers leaving halfway through next season to replace Jimmy Fallon as host of Late Night, the show is about to experience a major makeover. Of course, this has always been the nature of Saturday Night Live. Cast members arrive, grow successful, move on, new players arrive, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat. From Chevy Chase to Kristen Wiig, this has been the way of SNL, and so it shall continue to be. But it’s still sad to bid adieu to the greats, and Hader is one of the greats; a terrific character comedian in the tradition of Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey. (I’ll miss Sudeikis a lot too, but I’ve always been indifferent about Armisen. If Sudeikis follows Hader out the door, the two best things about Kenan Thompson’s “What Up With That” sketch will be gone: the former’s enthusiastic, red tracksuit-clad backup dancer, and the latter’s repeatedly snubbed guest, Lindsey Buckingham.)

So what’s next for Hader? Sleep, and moving back to Los Angeles, he says. Careerwise, I don’t see him graduating to many lead performances in comedy movies. He seems more suited to supporting parts in that medium, while TV is the likely place for him to find a central role. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he flexes his muscles a bit and takes on some characters and material with more serious overtones; I suspect that he has the talent for them. In the meantime, he’ll be seen in an upcoming project called The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby, starring Jessica Chastain and James McAvoy as a couple whose relationship is seen across two separate films: one from her perspective, and one from his. Hader also reunited with director Mottola for an HBO movie called Clear History, co-written by and starring Larry David. And I’m sure he’ll pop up on SNL again, for a surprise cameo or a hosting gig. Until then, here are a few of my favorite Bill Hader moments from his tenure at SNL.

Most notably, Hader’s departure leaves the show without its best recurring character of recent years, Weekend Update’s delicate, trendspotting City Correspondent, Stefon. One of my favorite things about Hader has been that, like Jimmy Fallon before him, he often has trouble getting through a skit without laughing…which only makes it funnier. Never is this more true than in his appearances as Stefon, probably because a) his material is always so bizarre, and b) writer John Mulaney apparently likes to switch up the dialogue between the dress rehearsal and the live show, so that Hader is often seeing Stefon’s lines for the first time when he performs them on air. Under those circumstances, it’s a miracle he holds it together as well as he does. (Incidentally, Stefon’s first appearance on the show was not as part of Weekend Update, but in a 2008 sketch featuring Hader and host Ben Affleck as brothers pitching a movie idea. If Hader reprises Stefon tomorrow night when Affleck hosts, it will mark a nice bit of symmetry.)

Hader’s performance as a beleaguered Vincent Price hosting a Halloween special would be enough to lodge this sketch in my memory, but it gets additional points for Jon Hamm’s turn as James Mason.

Although not as much of a breakout character, I’d put Hader’s Italian talk show host Vinny Vedecci up alongside Stefon as one of his best and funniest creations. I was recently lamenting that Vinny hasn’t turned up in a long time, and have been hoping for a return appearance. We’ll see if he shows up tomorrow night to add Affleck to a list of guests that has included John Malkovich, Shia LaBeouf and Drew Barrymore.

Hader’s impressions over the years range from James Carville to Julian Assange, but one of his best — and most unexpected — is Alan Alda. The veteran M*A*S*H star does have a distinct voice, yet it’s not one that is often imitated…not this successfully, at least. Hader’s take is truly uncanny, as demonstrated in this sampling of Back to the Future auditions. Close your eyes and you’d never know it’s not Alda himself.

Another of Hader’s great characters is TV news reporter Herb Welch, a creaky correspondent long past his expiration date. More than his other recurring characters, if you saw one Herb sketch you saw them all. But Hader made them worth seeing.

Beyond recurring characters and impressions, Hader could always be counted on to elevate an otherwise ordinary sketch. This clip shows that the proof is in the puppet.

Farewell Mr. Hader, and thanks for eight seasons of great work.

March 31, 2013

Game Day

Filed under: Books,TV — DB @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , , ,

The game is again afoot. After a 10 month gap gap—standard practice for a TV series these days, but torturous even though we’ve grown accustomed to it—Game of Thrones returns for its third season on HBO tonight. Game is my favorite current show, and as there has been a lot on my mind about what this season will bring, I thought I’d share a few of my curiosities with others who are also traveling the Kingsroad. Those who haven’t read the books may have some of the same questions I do, while those who have are most likely laughing at us because they know what’s about to happen. For those totally uninitiated into the books or the show, you should stop reading now, because things are about to get spoiled.

When we last left the Seven Kingdoms (and beyond), Stannis Baratheon’s invasion of King’s Landing had been thwarted by the well-timed arrival of reinforcements led by Tywin Lannister and Loras Tyrell. Stannis somehow (I’m not sure how) made it back to Dragonstone and the swirling red cape of Melisandre, who assured him that his victory was still destined. The alliance between the Lannisters and Tyrells, brokered by Littlefinger, was set to grow even stronger as Joffrey agreed to cast aside Sansa and marry Margaery Tyrell. Tyrion was left with a massive scar along his face after nearly being murdered during the battle by one of his own men, on instructions from Cersei. Shae urged him to run away with her, leaving the kingdoms and his god awful family behind, but he couldn’t bring himself to go. She remained with him, and is still serving as a maiden to Sansa. Bronn was removed as head of the Gold Cloaks, but we don’t know much more than that about his status. Varys reached out to Ros with a vague proposition that seems to involve informing on Littlefinger…but to what end?

Elsewhere in Westeros, Robb secretly married Talisa, while Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie escaped servitude at Harrenhal thanks to help from supercool mystery man Jaqen H’ghar. Winterfell was left burned and deserted after an ill-advised invasion by Theon, who betrayed Robb after being shamed by his asshole father and sister. He was knocked unconscious by his own men after the castle was surrounded by loyal northmen, but that was the last we saw of him. Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor left the ruined Winterfell to head north toward The Wall, on the instructions of the dying Maester Luwin. Beyond the Wall, Jon Snow and Qhorin Halfhand were taken prisoner by wildlings after Jon couldn’t bring himself to kill the captive redhead Ygritte. Quorin sacrificed himself by loudly accusing Jon of being a traitor and dueling with him until Jon killed him—a ploy to gain the trust of wildling leader Mance Rayder and infiltrate his camp. Samwell had the bad luck of coming across a massive army of White Walkers, though they seemed unconcerned with him as he hid in terror behind a rock. And across the Narrow Sea, Daenerys ventured into the House of the Undying and reclaimed her kidnapped dragons from the über-creepy warlock Pyat Pree.

Let’s see, what else…Catelyn released Jaime and entrusted Brienne with escorting him back to King’s Landing in the hopes of trading him for Sansa and Arya, after Littlefinger lied and told her that both girls were there. For going behind Robb’s back, Catelyn is being held under guard. Stannis’ advisor Davos Seaworth was blown off his ship and into the waters of Blackwater Bay when the wildfire attack was unleashed by Tyrion. Whether he lived or died, we don’t know. The Hound walked away from the battle and told Joffrey he could go fuck himself. He then suggested to Sansa that he was headed north, though she declined his offer to take her back to Winterfell.

That covers most of the main characters, I think. And since the second season ended last June, there had been little buzz or activity to whet our appetite for what’s next. Casting additions for the third season were announced last summer as they came in, and a video introduction with most of the new actors was presented in July at Comic-Con. It didn’t offer a lot, and meant less to people like me who haven’t read the books ahead of the show than it likely did to those who have, but hey, it was something.

Most of those actors are unfamiliar to me, but there are a few I recognize. Mackenzie Crook (Orell) appeared in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, and of course starred as Gareth on the British version of The Office (Gareth = Dwight). Thomas Brodie-Sangster (Jojen Reed) was the lovesick little drummer boy from Love Actually who suggested that he and his stepdad (Liam Neeson) go “get the shit kicked out of us by love.” And there’s Dame Diana Rigg, best known to some as Emma Peel, heroine of 1960’s British spy series The Avengers, or perhaps as Tracy, the woman who wins James Bond’s love (as opposed to the normal Bond girl romp in the sack) in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. To me, though, Rigg will always be Lady Holiday from The Great Muppet Caper.

One character who had not yet been cast at the time of that video was Mance Rayder, but soon enough we learned the part would be played by the great Ciarán Hinds, who comes with the solid HBO experience of having played Julius Caesar on Rome. Another alumni of that underseen HBO series also joined the cast: Tobias Menzies, who played Brutus to Hinds’ Caesar, will be on hand as Catelyn’s brother Edmure Tully. Rigg and Hinds, in particular, are impressive additions to an ensemble of actors that’s as strong as it is large, and Benioff and Weiss shared their thoughts on landing the veteran performers with EW.com

Other than these casting announcements, we didn’t have much to quench our thirst during the hiatus. All’s been quiet on the Westeros front, save for a couple of brief behind the scenes glimpses and teaser spots on HBO with voiceover but no new footage. The first true teaser—with actual scenes!—didn’t premiere until last month on Jimmy Kimmel Live. (This is actually an extended version of the one that first appeared.)

The featured song got immediately stuck in my head, and I mistook it for another Florence + The Machine track, as their song “Seven Devils” was used for one of season two’s previews. Turns out it’s by a group called MS MR, and is called “Bones.”

Anyway, the late February premiere of that preview marked the end of an unusually long wait to see any new material. Usually HBO begins hyping new seasons of its shows with actual trailers a couple of months before they premiere, but this time they dragged their feet like Dany’s khalasar dragged that poor wine vendor behind her horse. Ever since then, however, the hype machine has gone into overdrive. It seemed there was a new spot every day. I was especially partial to this one…

Lions and dragons and bears, oh my…

As evidenced by those trailers, there’s been a lot of tantalizing footage. The word is that this season is going to be pretty amazing…and devastating. Apparently there are some particularly shocking events ahead. In their cover story, Entertainment Weekly described A Storm of Swords—the third book in George R.R. Martin’s series—as GoT‘s Empire Strikes Back…a promising comparison in that Empire is the best of the Star Wars movies, and a worrisome one in that the good guys kinda get their asses kicked in Empire. The series proved early on that it wasn’t afraid to eliminate major characters, dispatching Ned, Robert, Viserys and Drogo all in the first season. Last year’s run was lighter on major character deaths, with Renly and Maester Luwin being the only substantial characters to meet their maker. And some might say Ser Rodrik Cassel. I don’t think Davos is dead, so I’m not including him. But as season two began, I expected fewer major characters to survive. I thought that between Joffrey, Robb, Jaime and Cersei, at least one would die. I now feel like Cersei is safe for a while, but the other three remain vulnerable…along with nearly every other character. And if I’m correctly interpreting the pre-season vibe, this year’s run of episodes will claim a few more significant figures.

Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have said from the beginning that their goal was to reach season three. If the show lasted long enough that they could get to events that will occur this season, they would be happy. No problem there. The show’s huge ratings left little doubt that they would make it to this point, and over the next 10 weeks, we’ll see what they’ve been so excited about. They referred early on to an event which they called only the RW scene, saying that to use the actual words instead of just the initials would constitute a spoiler. I accidentally found out what RW stands for, but I’m not sure how much of a spoiler it is, since at this point I still have no idea what it means or suggests. In my naive eyes, the words could be interpreted in a variety of ways. But given how eager Benioff and Weiss have been to depict it on the show, it’s gotta be major. They’ve also hinted about at least one upcoming scene so hard to take that even the crew choked up during filming. Is it this RW scene they’re referring to? In the aforementioned Entertainment Weeky cover story, they won’t even use the initials anymore to describe it. (They must have forgotten that they already used them in past interviews…unless there’s another infamous scene coming up that can be abbreviated for non-spoiler conversations). Whatever this mystery event is, if everyone is being so protective of it and the crew is getting teary-eyed while filming, it probably forebodes death for at least one favorite character.

A Storm of Swords is so densely plotted that this season of the show will only cover roughly half of the book. Benioff and Weiss have said before that they see the show as an adaptation of Martin’s entire A Song of Ice and Fire series rather than a book-by-book take, so the seasons do not perfectly match the books. They do sync up pretty well, but for example, the scenes late in season two involving Brienne transporting Jaime to King’s Landing don’t occur in the second book. When we last see Jaime in the novel, he’s still in his cell, and Catelyn is standing over him and asking Brienne for a sword. Tackling the third book over the course of two seasons will not only allow Benioff and Weiss to take their time and give the rich plot the attention it deserves, but it increases the chances that the show won’t catch up to the books before Martin finishes them. He has two more entries in the series to deliver, and just this week he expressed confidence that he’ll finish the books before the show gets ahead of him. And he’s right that if the timing doesn’t quite pan out, the show can always take a longer-than-usual hiatus. The Sopranos, Mad Men and Breaking Bad have all done it. Sure, fans will be pulling their hair out in anticipation, but we’ve survived such droughts before. Of course, Martin does have to buckle down and stay focused on finishing the series. When HBO announced in February that they had signed a deal with him to develop additional programming, I know I wasn’t the only fan who thought, “Well that’s nice and all….but George, you need to keep your priorities straight and finish these damn books.” One rumored possibility is that Martin and HBO will adapt a series of prequel novellas he’s written. We’ll see if anything comes of it. Deals like this are signed all the time, but they don’t necessarily yield anything, and HBO orders plenty of promising pilots that they then decide not to produce further.

I’m running a bit wild here, so let me bring it back around to the season at hand and what we can expect. I’m of course wondering what will become of Theon. He seems primed to be one of the first casualties, but how will it happen, if it does? The previews above show a quick glimpse of his sister Yara, but there’s been no sign of Theon in any of the commercials. Will he be brought back to Robb, and will Robb be able to go through with killing him?

What about Davos? Where and how will he resurface? I’m also excited to see what unfolds for The Hound. Walking out on Joffrey was an unexpected move, and I’ve noticed that for a minor-major character, he’s been a prominent part of season three’s marketing campaign. His appearance in this teaser, and the fact that he got his own character poster—the kind of privileged exposure usually reserved for the major characters—suggests to me that his story will be an important one this season.

What lies in store for Tyrion? When his father sent him to King’s Landing to fill in as Hand of the King, it seemed to mark a possible new appreciation for the dwarf’s intelligence and skill for strategy. Will that appreciation continue to blossom, or will Tywin resume treating him like the “lowest of the Lannisters”?  Halfman or not, Tyrion stood tall during the Battle of Blackwater, and he deserves credit for keeping the fight against Stannis going as long as it did. What are the chances Tywin will recognize that? And speaking of Tywin, why is he assuming his duties as Hand instead of continuing the fight against Robb? Who will be leading the Lannister forces now, with Jaime still captive and Tywin in King’s Landing?

The previews have shown that Daenerys finally gets hold of an army, and a ship. Will she actually get to Westeros this season and begin integrating into those storylines, or is that still a ways off? And here’s something I’ve been wondering about, though I doubt we’ll get an answer (and it probably isn’t even important): remember that masked woman in Qarth who knew Jorah by name and warned him to protect Daenerys from those who would want her dragons? Yeah…who was that chick, and what’s her story? She seems to correspond to a character from the book name Quaithe, but who is she? How does she know Jorah? Will she eventually play a more important role, or is she a minor character who, like others in Qarth, just seems to know shit?

And what of Robb’s vow to marry one of Walder Frey’s daughters? I can’t blame the guy for choosing Talisa over any of the Frey girls, but it’s been stressed that the promise is not to be thrown off lightly. The Stark/Frey marriage wasn’t supposed to take place until the war was over, but will the repercussions of Robb’s union with Talisa be seen this season?

There was also a scene last year in which Samwell, Grenn and Edd discovered a care package buried in the snow: rare arrowheads made of obsidian, wrapped in a Knight’s Watch cloak beneath a shield. There’s got to be something up with that, yeah?

Soon I’ll know the answers to most of these questions, and I’m sure that this season will fly by as fast as the previous two have. There are only 10 episodes per season, which Benioff and Weiss say is the most they can handle per year for a series that has such demanding scope, with its feature film-quality production design, costumes, visual effects and complicated shooting schedule that spans multiple countries and features such an enormous cast. The episodes will each run a few minutes longer this year than in the past, so by the end of the season we’ll have had almost an extra episode’s worth of material. It ain’t much, but I’ll take it.

In these final hours before the premiere, you can amuse yourself with this Game of Thrones death generator (completely random—it doesn’t require your middle name or the street you grew up on to determine your doom—but still worth a chuckle). Then there’s this video that dares to replace the show’s excellent opening credits sequence with the version that might have been used if it were on network TV in the mid 80’s. (The clip says 1995, but I think this is more 80’s than 90’s).

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And it was only a matter of time: a Game of Thrones/Princess Bride mash-up.

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Last but not least, there’s this. Because lightsabers make everything cooler.

With that, please join me in praying to the old gods and the new, and even to the Lord of Light, that Joffrey will soon die a slow, excruciatingly painful death, and that Tyrion will bitchslap him at least one more time before it happens.

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